Almost to 12 weeks!

This Sunday is a big day. First of all, it would have been Hailey's first birthday. This is going to be a very hard day for us, but we are going to be having a big celebration to remember her beautiful life. I think that's going to make the day a bit easier to get through. We knew this day was coming, I just hope we are able to deal with it. I know she wouldn't want us to be sad but we will be. I can't believe it's already been a year since we first me our daughter. It seemed to have flown by. So have these past 7 1/2 months since she left us. But we will do everything we can to enjoy her special day.

Sunday is also the 12 week mark in our pregnancy. Which is the milestone that most pregnant women hope to achieve because there is now a very low risk of miscarriage. We will be getting another ultrasound this coming Thursday to make sure the baby is growing like it's supposed to. We're hoping around the middle of August is when we will get to find out if it's a boy or girl. We do however have to wait until around 20 weeks to make sure the heart is healthy. But we will be sure to keep you all posted!

I would also like to add a disturbing fact we recently had to deal with. As you know I have been having really bad morning (all day) sickness. So my doctor prescribes me a drug called Phenergan. Well I decided to look it up on safefetus.com to make sure it's in either class A or class B before I was going to take it. And you know what? IT'S BEEN KNOWN TO CAUSE CARDIOVASCULAR DEFECTS IN THE FIRST TRIMESTER!!  I couldn't believe it as I read this. Our doctor is not going to like us when we go back on Thursday. So of course I tossed the pills and I am now just "dealing" with the nausea. Here is the link to the information. I hope you warn other pregnant women to not take this drug after reading this. I know I will be.

On a happier note,

Here is the latest picture of our little peanut at 10 weeks.

And now for the 11 week status updates!

Week and day: 11 weeks and 5 days

Belly Button in or out: Still in. :)  Never came out while I was pregnant with Hailey, so I think it may stay in!

Wedding rings on or off: Still on of course!

Food cravings:  Fruit

Food aversions: Everything!

Nausea: It's very bad! Feeling nauseous 24/7 

Energy level: Can't make it through the day without a nap.

Weight gain: Lost about 8 pounds so far. Which is "okay" during the first trimester only. 

Mood: Excited!!

Maternity clothes: Will be needing them soon!

Size of baby: Between 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 inches (4.4 to 6cm) Weight is about 0.3 ounces (8g) About the size of a large lime!

Baby's changes: Fetal growth is rapid now. The crown to rump length of the baby doubles in the next 3 weeks. The head is almost half the baby's entire length. As the head extends (uncurls or tips backward toward the spine), the chin rises from the chest, and the neck develops and lengthens. Fingernails appear. 

 

External genitalia are beginning to show distinguishing features. Development of the fetus into a male or female is complete in another 3 weeks. 

Next appointment: July 22nd at 10:30am

What I've been up to: Getting ready for Hailey's first birthday BBQ and also preparing to go to Wisconsin to visit my family!

Can you see this?

Just wondering if anyone is able to see my posts. I haven't had any comments on my last 3 posts so I was kinda worrying! That's fine if people don't leave comments, I just want to make sure my posts are going through and I am not getting lost in cyber space!
Just leave me a comment here so I know these are at least showing up and you are able to read them. That way I know I can keep posting and you will keep reading!

Hailey's First Birthday

I'm just posting the invite I sent to all of my facebook friends, I know some of you are not on facebook  so I would like to include the invite on Blogger as well.

 Hailey will be turning ONE on July 18th. As you all know, she passed away on December 2nd from her fight with HLHS. We will be having a BBQ and cake to celebrate her life. We would love for all to attend and if you can, bring a new and unwrapped gift or donation. All of this will be donated to Doernbecher Children's Hospital on July 21st (Hailey's surgery anniversary). We want this to be a happy day full of celebration to remember our beautiful little girl!


If you would like to attend or send a gift, please e-mail me at labradorgirl1981@msn.com and I will send you our address. 

Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy!

Now say that 3 times fast! But for short, just call it PUPPS. If I had been updating my blog, you would have known that I had PUPPS during my pregnancy with Hailey. I would not wish this condition on my worst enemy. It is horrible! Click here to read about PUPPS . By the time my doctor was able to figure out what I had, it was already down to my knees and up to my neck. I could not sleep for weeks!  And here comes the strangest part, PUPPS occurs in only 1% of pregnant women, and with that one percent, 70% will be having boys! How much more bad statistics could we handle?! We had Hailey being 1 in 10,000 with having HLHS and now this on top! The point of this post is that we had our doctor appointment today and we were told we have a good chance of it coming back this pregnancy...great... But that was our only bad news today.

We had our ultrasound at noon today and so far everything is looking great. We got to see the little peanut's heart beat and it was at 147 bpm. We will be getting another ultrasound on July 6th.
And since I have been so tired lately, I forgot to post my weekly info! So here it is!

Week and day: 7 weeks and 5 days

Belly Button in or out: Still in. :)  Never came out while I was pregnant with Hailey, so I think it may stay in!

Wedding rings on or off: Still on of course!

Food cravings:  None

Food aversions: Everything!

Nausea: It's very bad! Feeling nauseous 24/7

Energy level: Can't make it through the day without a nap.

Weight gain: Lost a few pounds, but that's okay!

Mood: Excited!!

Maternity clothes: I'm sure I have a month or so before those are needed!

Size of baby: 1/2 inch! 

Baby's changes: Leg buds are beginning to appear as short fins and the arm buds have grown longer; they have divided into a hand segment and an arm-shoulder segment. The hand and foot have a digital plate where the fingers and toes will develop. 

The heart bulges from the body. By this time, it has divided into right and left chambers (lets pray that it did!) The primary bronchi are present in the lungs. The cerebral hemispheres, which make up the brain, are also growing. Eyes and nostrils are developing. 

Intestines are developing, and the appendix is present. The pancreas, which produces the hormone insulin, is also present. Part of the intestine bulges into the umbilical cord. Later in the baby's development, it will return to the abdomen.  

Next appointment: July 6th at 10:30am

What I've been up to: Working and sleeping! And trying to to trow up!

Just a quick update

Sorry for not posting earlier but I had to work today, and yesterday my husband and I had the day off together which was very nice!

So we had our first Dr. Appt yesterday but we don't have any pictures to share. We aren't far enough along for them to be able to see the little peanut on the ultrasound. They were able to see the amniotic sac and said that it looks healthy and it's up nice and high. So far, so good!

Our new Dr. is very nice! I have a male Dr. this time so I was hoping for a friendly one so I wouldn't seem too uncomfortable. I had Kaiser insurance (now have Aetna!) during our pregnancy with Hailey so I wasn't able to keep the same Perinatologist. But this is the first doctor I have seen in a while that wasn't sitting at a computer typing away while asking me questions. He just wrote his notes down on a piece of paper and seemed very interested in everything we had to say and wasn't rushing us either. He sat and answered all our questions and was so friendly about everything! Yay!

We do however get to go back this coming Friday, the 18th. for another ultrasound in hopes that we are able to see the little peanut on the ultrasound. Wish us luck!

One month down, 8 more to go!

I hope these next 8 months just fly by! I am so ready to have a little baby in my arms again. As I read other blogs and go back to when Hailey was first born, it makes me really sad that we never got to hold her right away. We didn't get to have that first bonding experience and she didn't get to cuddle with me to get to know my smell, or my husband's smell. I think about that a lot and sometimes wish that we were at a hospital that gave us that opportunity. I've read in many other blogs about the Moms and Dads being able to hold their babies who also had the same condition as Hailey. All I got was a one second glance at her after they cut her out of my stomach. Hailey was very stable the whole time leading up to the day of her surgery. She didn't need a ventilator or c-pap, or even a nasal canula. All she had was an IV to keep that duct open. So it makes me so angry at times that I never got to hold her and be her mom those first 3 days.
This is why we are so much anticipating the birth of our second child. I crave being able to hold my child immediately after birth to get the sensation and feelings all mothers should be able to experience. Just to clarify and I am sure most of you know this, but this child will in no way ever replace or even compare to the amazing little girl that Hailey was. We can't wait to tell this new baby all about his or her big sister watching over. We just can't wait to be parents and experience everything as if it's all brand new to us. It pretty much will be since the first time around was nothing like anyone could have imagined.
On a more upbeat note, Josh and I have both been having a "feeling" that this new little baby is going to be a boy! We both had that feeling before Hailey was born (that she was a girl) so we'll find out if we are right again! We already came up with a very cute boys name if it happens to be a boy, but we'll share that at a later time. :)  Here is the weekly update for our new little peanut!

Week and day: 6 weeks and 1 day

Belly Button in or out: Still in. :)  Never came out while I was pregnant with Hailey, so I think it may stay in!

Wedding rings on or off: Still on of course!

Food cravings:  None

Food aversions: None

Nausea: Just a little bit, nothing too bad just yet. 

Energy level: Getting very sleepy throughout the day!

Weight gain: None

Mood: Excited! Nervous as well!

Maternity clothes: I'm sure I have a month or so before those are needed!

Size of baby: 0.08 to 0.16 inch (2 to 4mm) The size of a blueberry! 

Baby's changes: The neural groove closes and early brain chambers form. The eyes are also forming, and  limb buds appear. The heart tubes fuse, and heart contractions begin!  

Next appointment: June 11th at 10:30am

What I've been up to: My husband and I have found a new love for getting out to play some disk golf! It's a lot of fun and a great little workout that's safe during pregnancy. It's just a little hard to get out to do anything lately since it's been raining non stop for 3 weeks. We only got one break and had a great sunny day this past Saturday. Can't wait for the Pacific Northwest to start showing signs of summer!

Followers?

Does anyone know why my "followers" don't show up? I've tried deleting the box and re-posting it, but nothing seems to work. I have no idea who is following my blog! Anyone know how to get it to work again?

Other than that, things here are good. No morning sickness just yet, but I didn't get that until week 6 with Hailey. Yesterday marked week 5!! This is the week that the heart will be dividing into chambers, so we are praying for 4 fully developed chambers this time! As I posted before, yes we told everyone about this pregnancy very early so that we can get as many prayers as possible. I know most people don't post this early because of the risk of miscarriage, but we want everyone along with us during this new journey. We are still very excited and will keep everyone posted as things progress. I have a feeling that morning sickness will be kicking in soon, as I am getting more and more pregnancy symptoms.

Our first perinatology appt is on June 11th and we will be getting our first ultrasound at that time. We are going to the perinatologist (high risk Dr.) because all subsequent pregnancy's from here on out will be considered high risk for the possibility of a CHD. Even though our chances are not very high. We will be posting our first ultrasound picture either that Friday or the following Saturday. We can't wait to see this new little baby!

I would like to do weekly posts by stealing the idea of another blog mom I follow. I thought it was such a cute idea! I hope you don't mind, mom2lo! 

Week and day: 5 weeks and 1 day

Belly Button in or out: Still in. :)

Wedding rings on or off: Still on of course!

Food cravings:  None

Food aversions: None

Nausea: None! I'm sure it's coming though!

Energy level: Starting to get tired during the day

Weight gain: None

Mood: Excited! Nervous as well!

Maternity clothes: I'm sure I have a month or so before those are needed!

Size of baby: About 0.05 in (1.25mm) long!

Baby's changes: The plate that will later become his/her heart has developed. The central nervous system (brain and spinal cord), and muscle and bone formation are beginning to take shape. The heart will begin to beat at the end of the week.

Next appointment: June 11th at 10:30am

What I've been up to: Just working and praying for a healthy baby!

HAILEY IS GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER!

It's technically really too early to start announcing because we are only about 4 weeks along, but we want as many prayers as possible for this new little baby on the way. I am making this post because I know a lot of people are going to have questions and it is unfortunate that I have to make such a post, but we really don't need any "debbie downers" right now!!

We are so very excited to announce that Hailey will be a big sister, but scared at the same time. For those wondering, we only have a 3% chance of having another CHD baby. Compared to the rest of the world having a 1% chance. So don't look down on us for trying again. I have heard from many friends that tried again after having a CHD baby that they got a lot of negative feedback. We have every right to try and have a family. This is all I have wanted since I was very young. So please be supportive of us throughout this pregnancy. Like I said, we have a 3% chance of it happening again and a 97% chance of having a healthy baby!

We have been trying since January and even had to take Provera to get my cycle regulated again after being MIA after Hailey's passing. It finally came back in April and we started charting using "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and the first month of charting we were successful!! Conceived on Mother's Day 2010!!! Due date is January 30th 2011. We know Hailey is looking over this new little one, and we know she had a hand in this as she gave us this new little baby on one of the best days possible.

I want you all to know that this is going to be a very hard time for us but also a very exciting one! We would like everyone to help us stay positive and support us through this no matter what happens.

We will update as we find out more!

Not sure who wrote this, but I love it.

 I Have A Different Life. The Life Of A Grieving Mother.
She Is Breathing, But She Is Dying. She May
Be Young But Inside She Has Become Ancient. She Smiles, But Her
Heart Sobs. She Walks, She Talks, She Cooks, She Cleans, She Works,
She IS, But She Is Not All At The Same Time. She's Here But Part Of
Her Is Else Where For Eternity.

The Woman in the Mirror

I found this on another Heart Mom's blog and I really like it.

The Woman in the Mirror
By Cheryl Veenstra


I saw an unfamiliar face in the mirror today. She caught my eye as I rushed to start the day. I hardly recognized this woman. What had changed in her eyes? She was no longer young, naive and viewing the world through rose-tinted glasses. What had caused the worry lines and thoughtful brow? How could she look so fragile and weary, yet also determined and strong? Around some corner on the road of life.......she had been shaken to the core of her very being.

There was a time when only tears and fears were reflected in those eyes. A doctor's unexpected words, the future suddenly uncertain......gray, shadowy images of the vague and scary concept of her child coming into the world as "disabled". An incredible journey began that caught her by surprise and would take her places she never thought she would go. The journey had been long at times and she had shed tears of pain and tears of joy. She'd had hopes and dreams dashed in the blink of an eye. She'd asked the question WHY? She'd had friends fail her and not know what to say or how to help. She'd seen her child suffer. She'd cried silent tears into her pillow at night. Tears of exhaustion and fear. Tears of helplessness and longing. Tears of thankfulness and relief. Tears that are choked back during the day, but are unleashed like floodwaters in the safety of the night to wash away any walls being built up to protect her heart. Nights of worry blurring into days of endless responsibility. But then slowly, but surely, her broken heart begins to heal and mend.

The same pity she had once felt as she watched a mother hold her 'special child' close was now looking back at her in the eyes of strangers. But a smile tugs at her lips as she suddenly realizes that now she knew the secret! The hard-fought, carefully guarded secret that was slowly revealed in the depths of her heart.....but only after the tears and anguish of the first days and weeks of this new life. The illusive truth that mothers of special children discover as they take their first faltering steps down this new path........It was okay. She and her child could survive, even thrive! It was not as grueling and unforgiving a road as she had imagined. The fog, confusion, despair and fear were being slowly replaced by peace, acceptance, contentment, joy and gratitude. A mother's unique, unconditional love changes the equation that may look hopeless and tough from those outside, looking in. She will fight for, live for and die for her child. These special children transform those around them into different people. Stronger people. Dare I say it......deeper people. Long gone are the days when all they had to worry about was where to vacation or what color mini-van to buy. They now struggle with life and death medical issues. They must answer their child's questions about life's unfairness and pain. What remaining strength and energy they have is spent trying to make their 'family life' as normal and happy as possible.

A twinkle returns to the eyes of the woman in the mirror as she takes a deep breath and remembers what she's been fighting for. How very worthwhile this journey has been! This child is an incredible gift and it is a privilege to be given the task of raising her. Her child is beautiful and perfect in her eyes. She longs for her child to be seen by the world through this filter of love, acceptance and potential. Could others take the time to see past this little girl's slower steps to see the life and love reflected in her eyes? Would her child be able to see herself through the filter of contentment that the woman has journeyed so long to discover?

Hope was rekindled as the woman's eyes grew brighter. The future remained uncertain, but the incredible, protective love she felt for her child threw a warm blanket over the cold, dark storm clouds that used to threaten her very soul. As she threw open the doors of her heart, she felt the warm sun on her face and she beheld a beautiful rainbow of intense beauty and unmistakable peace. Hope still comforts this woman who cries in the middle of the night. Love gets her through each day. Faith takes her hand and leads her around each corner and through each deep, dark valley. Peace soothes her heart as she relinquishes control of their destiny to One wiser and all knowing. Joy brings laughter and smiles to those tired eyes once again. Each day is recognized for the gift it is.

I gave that woman a smile as I left her at the mirror today. I'll see her again soon and I'm curious to see how she will continue to change and grow. She's not the same young, carefree woman she used to be, but that is okay. I like who she is becoming and I feel comfortable in her life. The sun is shining, the day is brand new, my child is humming and God is so good!