Monday, April 5, 2010

Been a while

I know it's been a long time since I had a post. I just had no idea what to say. This blog was for Hailey, and now she's no longer here. Friday was her 4 month Angelversary. This has been one of the hardest things to ever go through and I don't know how we are making it through, but we just are.
I still need to send out a TON of thank you cards, do you think it would still make a difference after 4 months? I used to be so on top of sending things out like that. Now it almost feels like nothing matters and I'm not worried if people are mad at me for not sending out a thank you card. I really am thankful, but the last thing I want to do is to write out cards because my daughter died. Why would I get motivated to write such cards? I'm hoping to be able to soon, it's just so hard to do right now.
Other than stressing over getting thank you cards out, everyday is a struggle, especially when I see a family with a baby girl. Or when that baby girl is smiling at me. I wish I had my baby girl to smile at me. She would have been 9 months old on the 18th. I miss her more than I can even explain in writing. I'm not even sure what this blog update is all about, I guess I just wanted to write about her and how much I miss her. So sorry if I'm kinda all over the place.
Since Hailey passed away I have met more parents with CHD babies and have seen 6 more babies pass away from their CHD. It's such a sad thing to see. I just wish these things never happened. It's not supposed to anyways.
We will be starting a fund raiser for Doernbecher Children's Hospital here in Portland, OR starting on Hailey's 9 month birthday. We would like to collect baby blankets and funds to create care packages for all the children in the PICU. We plan to deliver everything on Hailey's first Birthday. We are also wanting to donate a Graco "SweetPeace" swing (Hailey had hers in the PICU and everyone was so envious so we would like to get one for the babies in the PICU). So April 18-July18 we would like to see how much we can raise. I will post more information as the date comes up.

Sorry for the random post, hopefully more "cheerful" ones will be in the future!

1 comment:

  1. Oh Nadine.. my heart goes out to you. I'm sure that I can speak for everyone on your thank you list (or at least I should be able to) that not one of them could possibly be mad at you. You have been through every parents worst nightmare and are living life the best way you can. I think and pray for you often. Please do post more information about your fundraiser in Hailey's memory.
    Big Heart Hugs,